The Locket

We had a great visit recently from BestestHusband's cousin and her family. Her two teenaged sons were interested in seeing some New England schools, her husband wanted to see some of his cousins, and the whole family wanted to take in the sights that the opposite coast had to offer. 

They were great to get to know, and were amazing house guests. It was such a joy to have them. But Lynda brought one gift that is more special than the girls understand. 

MeToo's middle name came from her Great Grandmother. She missed meeting her by a few weeks. BestestHusband was unable to attend his grandmother's funeral because of a looming due date. So we honored her by giving her name to MeToo. Interestingly, they have the same initials. 

Great Grandma had a locket with her initials on it. Inside was a picture of the little girl she lost. 

We learned that the picture was taken a month before her death. She had just started walking. You can see that adorable "wobble toddle" stance in the picture. She wasn't even a year old yet. When they took the picture, they had no idea she would get sick and die just a few weeks later. 

Some people say that measles is "just a rash." If that's true, why did BestestHusband lose an aunt? If measles is "no big deal", why did this little girl die? The older sister, BestestHusband's aunt, was about 5 years old. She caught measles too, and wasn't allowed to attend her own sister's funeral. But thankfully she survived to pass the story down to the rest of us. 

There are people who say that the MMR vaccine (measles, mumps, and rubella) is dangerous. But our family has stories on both sides that say that the real danger is from the diseases it protects us from. I've heard people say "I've never heard of anyone dying from measles. The vaccine isn't that important." But I'm pretty sure Great Grandma and BestestHusband's surviving aunt would disagree. 

At the Grocery Store

A great deal of my parenting has occurred at grocery stores. This makes sense, as we shop at least weekly, and the girls generally get dragged along. There's the store far away that has a gas station, is cheap, and is our destination for stocking up on basic supplies. There's the store close by that has super-cheap produce and middle eastern baked goods, like pita and spinach triangles. Then there's the store in-between that's on the way to the gym, has some good sales, and is frequented by half of the little old ladies in Boston. 

The latter of the three is where LittleDebbie and I headed this afternoon to take advantage of a super deal on milk. The customer service is always good; the cashiers are guaranteed to make eye contact and maybe a bit of small talk. This is not something to take for granted around here. And we always need milk. Did I mention that the place is Mecca for old ladies?

LittleDebbie is old enough to sit in the cart, instead of being in the car seat in the cart. She loves sitting there. She can look around and smile at people. Occasionally she'll utter a loud and recognizable "HIIIIII!" Oh, she's a charmer, and few can resist her in your average setting. But at this grocery store, she has everyone in the palm of her tiny little hand. 

Frequently on my online mommy forum, there are discussions about strangers touching babies and giving them germs. Why on earth would a sane person touch a strange baby's face? Or hands? Those germs are going straight into that baby's mouth. They could catch a cold! Or MRSA! Or MERS!!!

Now, I realize that there is a group of immune-compromised children in this world for whom this is a serious danger. Their lives literally could depend on strange germy people keeping their hands off of them. But my child is not one of these children. She grazes the floor scraps of our house - paper, stickers, dust-bunnies - like a little catfish. And she has 2 adoring dogs that love to share "kisses" and tastes of whatever she has on her hands. And she's a third child. I generally don't worry too much about it. 

But as I was contemplating the sugar content of Boston Baked Beans vs. Original Recipe, one of the many little old ladies stopped to chat with LittleDebbie. And LittleDebbie was happy to engage. The exchange was verbal to start. But then the lady started getting a bit touchy. She touched LD's nose. Then her cheek. Then she rubbed her head. And started holding her hand. And I started getting a bit uncomfortable. Because of germs. And a strange lady was touching my baby's face. I expect a touch on the arm or the foot. But she was crossing the line. And LD was enjoying it immensely. 

"She's so so beautiful. So beautiful."
"Thank you...." (how do I politely ask her to stop touching?!)
"I love babies so much..."
(obviously! can you back off just a bit?)
"I always wanted a child. But I had 6 miscarriages. The oldest was 4 months along..."
"Oh wow, I'm so sorry." (oh. wow.)
"She's just so beautiful. Bless you child." And she made the sign of the cross over her head.
"LD, can you give her a high five?" LD giggled as I pushed her hand to touch the woman's hand. We did a long series of high and low fives. The two of them laughed with each one. And then it was time for both of us to move on.
"Bless you my dear. Enjoy your day."
"Thank you. You too."
And I heard her sigh heavily as she started her way down the aisle. I'm not sure if she had tears in her eyes, but I had tears in mine. What are a few germs in the face of such loss? I'd take my chances and let her kiss LD's face if I thought it would help. 

There are days that I wish I could have said something when I didn't. And today I'm thankful I didn't say something when I could have. Because I'm not sure if spending a few minutes with LD brought her joy, but I know that shooing her off would not have. 

Sleeping Through the Night

It's 4am. I'm awake. Little Debbie is not. In fact, she hasn't been awake since around 9:15pm. It's a bit odd, and disconcerting. I was awake 3 times with her last night. Tonight, she hasn't awoken yet. Yes, she's still breathing. I checked. And double-checked. And triple-checked.

That's the funny thing about a baby sleeping through the night. The first time it happens, you can't enjoy it. You're too worried that something's wrong. Certainly she should be awake by now, right? Certainly she should be hungry by now, right? The worry that something is wrong is greater than the relief of getting more sleep. Is she really still breathing? How about now? Still breathing? Still asleep?!?!

So why am I awake? Let's just say that there's an oversupply issue that I'm managing at the moment. My body thinks she should have eaten two or more meals by now, and is wondering what to do with all of that food. Again, the irony. I should be luxuriating in the extra rest time. But I can't. As usual, I'll go back to bed just in time to fall into a deep sleep before the alarm goes off. 

I'm not going to expect this to be a regular thing. Sure, Little Debbie's big and old enough that it's not out of the question. But I don't want to be disappointed when it doesn't happen. 

Addendum:
Immediately after writing this, I heard noise on the baby monitor. Sure enough, she woke up hungry at 4:30. And we were up until 5:30. Which allows a quick nap before the alarm goes off. I jinxed it. Oh well, I did sleep from 11pm until 4am, so 5 uninterrupted hours is nothing to sneeze at...

First Week of Kindergarten

I'm the mother of a kindergartener. Wow. 

HeyMama just finished her first week of kindergarten. Every morning, she has bounded out of bed at 6am, put on her uniform with its plaid jumper, bounded to the kitchen to eat breakfast, packed her food into her lunchbox, and chattered her way to school. She loves it. 

We decided to send her to a local Catholic school that would allow her to start kindergarten early. She'll turn 5 later this month, which is too late for BPS. But early enough for St. Mary's. The class is small. The school feels like a community. And HeyMama LOVES IT.

I simultaneously have a newborn and a kindergartener. This is a fun contrast. But the kindergartener needs to be at school at 8am sharp. Preceded by a 20-45 minute commute, depending on the day. This is a bit of a bummer. Little Debbie tends to want a feeding around 4am. This lets me get back to bed around 4:30. Which gives me a quick nap before the 6am alarm rings. And she wants to eat again before we leave the house. This is a bit of a challenge. This aspect of having a newborn and a kindergartener is kicking my butt. I know we'll settle into a schedule, and things will get easier. I'm very much looking forward to that day.

In other news, I'm back to my previous raging coffee addiction. Oh coffee, how I do love thee...

An Explanation

So, I know I haven't been very good lately about posting. Ok, so my posts have been pretty sparse for the last few months. I'm sorry about that. If you're a loyal reader of this blog (and I know there aren't a lot of you, so I'm even more appreciative of your loyalty), you might have been wondering what's so important that I don't have time to write.

Well, I've been a bit low on energy, and high on nausea. I've been spending my spare time sleeping. Or craving odd foods. Or just lying on the couch, feeling cruddy and trying not to complain.  I've been quite busy.

Pickles and ice cream! Yum!

Growing a new little person can be an all-consuming task, especially for the first trimester. It certainly has been taking up quite a bit of my life, lately.

But there's hope. Despite the fact that I spend most of yesterday evening horizontal, I cooked a real dinner for the first time in weeks. (Maple-glazed salmon and mustard potatoes.) Despite sleeping late this morning, I woke up thinking of things that needed to be done around the house, and those things did NOT involve sleeping while the girls watched Sesame Street. So I think I'm turning the corner. I'm starting to consider and attempt the things I did BEFORE I turned into a blob who lived on the couch and fed her family sandwiches and pre-prepared food every night. I think I might be getting back to normal. Whatever "normal" is for me...

So I have high hopes that the blogging will pick up again in the near future. At least until mid-August, when the new little one is supposed to arrive, and life will implode for a while...

How Much Would You Pay?

Slow down your reading for a moment and try to answer my questions with specific dollar amounts:

How much would you pay to save your family's lives?

Really, try to name an amount. Everything you have?

How much would you pay to save your best friend's family's lives?

Half of what you have?

How much would you pay to save a stranger's family's lives?

Maybe a few hundred dollars?

What if you could do it for $10?
Would you do it?

If you knew that each $10 could protect a family from disease, a deadly disease, how many families would you agree to save?

What if you heard that the disease affected mostly mothers and children?

What if is was preventable with bed nets and education?

Because I'm describing malaria.

It kills 1 million people, mostly mothers and children, every year. It can be prevented with bed nets and education. And you can provide these resources to a family for $10. How much is $10? A week's worth of Starbucks coffee? Half a manicure? Maybe a whole manicure if you don't live in Boston...

For the price of one insurance co-pay (for really great medical care) to see the pediatrician, I could save the children of TWO ENTIRE FAMILIES from malaria. I could provide them with life-saving medical care for the price of a wellness visit for my child. We have SO MUCH HEALTHCARE at our disposal. They have so little.

But $10 can change that for a family.

Look in your wallet right now. How many families can you help right this instant? Ok, if you're like me, you might not carry cash very often. But you certainly have $10 in your account. Possibly more than that.

How much would you give to your favorite neighbor to save his family? So why not give it to your distant neighbors in Africa to save their families?

Please consider supporting the work being done by the Lutheran Malaria Initiative. The lives of families in Africa really do depend on it.

Gifts New Parents REALLY Need

I was able to briefly stop in at the joint baby shower for two of my coworkers today and was reminded of how fun giving baby gifts can be. The board books! The cute onesies! Baby gifts are so fun to shop for! And so fun to get!


But after having a few babies, I've come to realize that no one gives the gifts that new parents really NEED. So I'm trying to compile a list of gifts to ask for that will really be useful. By the way, you might not want to give these at a baby shower. People might stare...


1. A waterproof mattress protector for the parents' bed. Mom and Dad may not wet the bed anymore, but baby sure will. At some point, baby will end up in the bed. And so will her spit-up. Or vomit. Or pee. Or poop. Or all of the above. Don't underestimate the projectile powers of small humans. You don't want your bed to smell like a bad night with your baby when you're trying to have a good night with your spouse.


2. Baby washcloths. There are thousands of uses for baby washcloths: wiping bums, wiping faces, wiping noses, wiping spit-up, wiping hands, wiping grimy feet, etc, etc. Buy them by the dozens. Even if you're not a pseudo-hippie who cloth diapers and makes homemade diaper wipe solution, you'll get years of functionality out of your washcloths.


3. A nice pair of yoga pants. The chances are good that you'll spend stretches of time not showering, and sleeping in your clothes. Do this in pajamas? You look like a redneck. Do this in nice yoga pants? You look athletic. Do this while toting a newborn? You look like a super mom. Who do you want to look like?


4. Tank tops. If you decide to nurse, you need nursing tanks. They're lifesavers. If you don't nurse, you need long tanks to cover the muffin tops that your baby will bring you on his birthday. They're lifesavers. Either way, you need new tank tops.


5. Some source of repetitive motion for your baby. Newborns like motion. If you're a hippie, tie your baby to your body with a long strip of fabric and get moving. Pray your baby sleeps at night so you can too. Only a pseudo-hippie? Get an exercise ball and a Baby Bjorn and start bouncing while you check email and watch TV. Again, pray you have a good sleeper. Want your baby moving while you lie comatose? Get a swing/sway/vibrate contraption. Or better yet, borrow one from a friend. You really don't want to take up valuable basement space when you're done with it.


6. A source of constant white noise. Some babies don't need them. Our first child required it to sleep through the night. And as I was working full time after she was born, I required it to sleep through the night. We were able to borrow a specific baby sound machine from a fancy gadget store. You could program it to fade out after a specific amount of time, or just keep going all night long. Both settings were helpful. We discovered that an iPod with a downloaded waterfall track will stand in for the white noise machine. But you need something.


7. Boob supplies. Planning on nursing? You need supplies for that: lanolin, nursing pads, soothies, APNO, etc. They're pricey and add up fast. Not planning on nursing? You might want a little something to help dry up all that milk. There are herbs and teas to help. And there's plain old Sudafed, which will do the trick.  Whatever your view on your baby and your boobs, you will need supplies.


8. A bottle and some formula. Whether or not you decide to nurse, you can benefit from a bottle and some formula. Now, don't call the La Leche League on me. I KNOW that your baby doesn't need formula and a bottle, because "Breast is Best." Of course it is. Your darling will do just fine on a never-ending, every-two-hour, 24/7, on-demand supply of breast milk. YOU on the other hand might want someone else to do a feeding. Or maybe just a 9 hour stretch of sleep. That's when you need a bottle and some formula. So that you can sleep without your baby starving or screaming for 9 hours. And you might want to start that bottle early on and keep it up on a regular basis. We waited too long for our second kid, and she refused to take anything but the boob until she was 6 months old. That was a very LLOOONNNGGG 6 months!


Ok, that's all I've got for now. Hey, experienced moms out there, what would YOU add to the list?