Things I Learned Today

Happy MLK Day!
BH and the girls and I spent the day together, and it turned out to be quite educational. I'd like to share a few things that I learned today:

1. Wet Ones in the car can freeze. Which makes it impossible to pull out individual wipes to clean up any poo that might have blasted out all over a carseat. 
2. Poo all over a carseat makes me extremely anxious. 
3. Poo blasts are most destructive in cold weather, due to wearing multiple layers.
4. Trying to take off 6 items of poo-smeared clothing without smearing it further makes me anxious.
5. You need to have a bathtub free of bathtub toys before trying to put a poo-covered toddler in it. 
6. The idea of poo-covered bathtub toys makes me extremely anxious. 
7. Hand-held shower nozzles are extremely handy for managing poo blasts.
8. I'm extremely thankful BH installed a new hand-held shower nozzle this past week. Extremely thankful. 
9. Partly-digested onions are recognizable, even after being blasted all over a toddler. 
10. I never want to clean up a piece of party-digested onion from a bath mat again.
11. My darling MT was stoic in the face of a hysterical and anxious mother who stripped her down in a cold bathtub and starting hosing off poo with a hand-held shower nozzle. 
12. Enzyme-based laundry sprays really are amazing at treating poo blasts. 
13. MT's winter coat will be wearable again as soon as the dryer dings. 
14. Managing a poo blast automatically entitles you to a glass of wine. 

Happy MLK Day everyone!

Precious

I have the distinct privilege of working in the field of geriatric rehabilitation. It’s a great break from my at-home days, although the rate of diaper changes is probably similar. But I feel like I learn so much. Especially about who I want to be when I grow up.

I walked into a lady’s hospital room today. She was twisted and contorted in her wheelchair, listing horribly towards her right, snoring softly, and drooling heavily from flaccid lips. Having her dentures out certainly didn’t help the situation. (Actually, I tried putting her dentures in. That didn’t help much either.) She has trouble chewing and swallowing. This is why I was supposed to work with her in the late afternoon. I inwardly groaned, wondering how I would manage to pass 45 minutes in productive activity.

She was happy to wake up when I talked to her, allowed herself to be untwisted and uncontorted in her chair, and agreed to try some tea and graham crackers. She was very hard of hearing, so I pulled my chair up very close, and we got down to business. She intently listened to everything I said, reading my lips and moving hers along with my words. Her eyes smiled, her lips had difficulty doing the same. She drooled quite a bit. And coughed a fair amount, too. She didn’t know the answers to most of my questions. She could tell me she had 3 kids, but couldn’t remember their names. Most of my questions were answered with “I don’t remember.” How old are you? Where do you live? Do you prefer coffee or tea? How do you like to take your tea? What foods do you like to eat? She didn’t remember. She had no idea who she was.

She has a 90 year old husband. He helps take care of her. He calls her his “Sweet Precious.”

That’s who I want to be when I’m 93. My husband’s “Sweet Precious.”