Sing with me:
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy furniture for your house (Like a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
Recently, I'm coming to realize how much I agree with the Bare Naked Ladies when it comes to spending a windfall.
If I had a million dollars, well, I'd first give some to Ruth House and Lutheran Malaria Initiative. And then I'd buy a house. Yes, we already have a house. Well, a condo. But I'd buy another house.
This sounds a bit excessive, perhaps. Who needs two houses?
Well, the biggest regret in my life is that I'm raising 2 delightful girls hundreds of miles away from my parents. And BestestHusband's parents. And the rest of our extended family. Thousands of miles, even. And we don't see them often enough. If they lived closer, life would be better. Now, I know my parents would never truly be happy in Boston. Or even in the 'burbs. But I could see them being happy in New Hampshire. Especially rural New Hampshire.
So if we bought a house in New Hampshire, we might be able to persuade my parents to come live in it for part of the year. The non-snowy parts, of course. We'd buy a house with lots of rooms. Or maybe even an in-law apartment out back. They could live in the main house. We'd live in the in-law apartment on the weekends. Or maybe stay in the main house and have friends stay in the in-law apartment. My parents could decorate the place in a way that would make it comfortable for them. They would have privacy most of the time, and controllable doses of chaos when we came to visit. If they needed to come to Boston, it would be an easy drive. If we wanted to visit or drop off the girls for a weekend, it would be an easy drive. And we could see them a few times a week or month instead of a few times a year.
And in the winter, my parents could flee the snow and head back to Texas. We could use the house on weekends as a base camp for hiking and skiing adventures. Or just leaving Boston. We'd share it with friends, of course. It would be a great place to spend holidays and vacation time. Or just a weekend for a quick get-away.
This arrangement could solve many problems:
We need a way to see family more often
They worry about being a burden
We worry about the large doses of chaos that our household inflicts on them
A vacation home needs a caretaker
We don't have a big enough place to host the entire family at once
My dad loves improvement projects, as does BestestHusband's dad. We could get a place big enough that the whole extended family had a bed. We could start hosting our niece and nephews from the far reaches of the country. We could have enough beds to host small church retreats or youth group events. I promise we'd share in the bounty! Think of the possibilities! Fireworks are legal for 4th of July! We could have a white Christmas every year! The girls could grow up with plenty of opportunities to roam in the woods!
If only I had a million dollars.
Anyone want to join me in praying for a windfall?
Showing posts with label Ruth House. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ruth House. Show all posts
Friday, September 28, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Donated Stroller
I recently groused to my friends on Facebook about someone donating a stroller for Ruth House that was in gross and grimy condition. Shannon asked the question, "How bad could it be?" Well, I took a good look at the stroller tonight. Shannon, I'll let you see for yourself.
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| Here's the stroller in my kitchen. |
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| Here's some of the fabric. That's mildew. And holes. |
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| Yes, that's a hole where the fabric is rotting. |
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| There's mildew in the seat. |
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| Lots of mildew and dirt. |
Now, the miser in me says, "Oh, you could just bleach that mildew right out." And maybe that's true. We bought our patio set second-hand, and I successfully brought some pretty gnarly cushions back to life. But given the already-rotting fabric, I don't think that bleach would make this stroller any better.
So lady, thanks for your generous donation, but I think we'll have the local trash guys drive this to the dump instead of me driving it down to Ruth House.
Monday, May 21, 2012
A Trip to Ruth House. And Target.
Aahhh, it's rest time. The time of the day where I pray the girls will sleep and threaten them with flaming wrath if they come out of their room. The time of the day when I try to let my ears recover from their auditory onslaught. The time of day when I procrastinate from stuff like clothes-folding and floor-sweeping and sit down to read email and write blog posts.
Dinner's in the crockpot. A load of laundry is in the wash. Ok, NOW it is. I forgot to actually do it. But now we're back on track. We're waiting on an old co-worker to stop by; she's bringing back a bin of baby clothes and exchanging them for the next bin of larger clothes.
The girls and I were out and about this morning. We started the day with a trip to Ruth House. We were at the first Ruth House Experience, where we were given a taste of the lives of the girls who live there. The other visitors for the Experience were given dolls, car seats, and a small bag of baby essentials. I brought my own 2 kids and bags of essentials. They even cried and made noise at the appropriate times. The other women didn't have crying baby dolls. They could listen intently. They didn't need to produce toys, snacks, and other interventions to keep the general hubbub down. We were a mini object lesson to what the real residents of the homes dealt with when they first were oriented into the program. But only an analogy. Because I know a little bit about how to shush crying. I can predict when the girls will get tired, bored, and hungry. I have a little experience. I had people to teach me. I'm not 16 years old and homeless, with a newborn.
After our Ruth House Experience, we went to Target on our way home. We needed a white shirt for HeyMama. We found one. Then picked up a second shirt because it also would match the skirt we were trying to buy a top for, and it wasn't too expensive. I found a sun hat. We looked at sun hats for the girls that were on clearance. We ultimately didn't buy one, because we already had sun hats, and even as cheap backups, they weren't good enough. I was willing to spend more for a better hat. We got a gift for BestestHusband (shhh, don't tell!). We didn't look at toys, despite the girls' begging. I wanted to get us all home for lunch and rest time.
The shift from Ruth House to Target helps highlight the difference between my experience as a mother and the experience of a Ruth House mother. I have snacks in my diaper bag. I never have to worry about not being able to afford food for my girls. If we need more food, I go buy it. I can walk to the store. I can drive to the store. In my very own car. I don't have to worry about shopping only where the bus lines will take me. When we need more clothes, we go buy some. Sure, I love hand-me-downs, and try not to buy anything excessive. (Which can be hard, considering girls' clothes. Headbands were my downfall last week.) But it's out of a desire to use our money wisely. Not because we don't HAVE money. My girls were excited to help pick out a gift for BestestHusband. They know him. They know what he likes. My daughters have an involved father. He supports them. He supports me. He is there for us every morning and every night. I'm not parenting alone. I have the luxury of scheduling our days around they girls' needs. I can make sure they eat at regular intervals, and get plenty of sleep. The basic necessities of life are never in question. They are always provided.
Even under the best of circumstances, parenting is a challenge. Imagine having only the clothes on your back, with a few diapers and a blanket for your baby. You're almost out of formula. You're almost out of diapers. You have no clean clothes for your baby.
Imagine what it would be like to be shown to a room, with a pretty crib for your baby with sheets and a blanket. To see a nice bed, just for you, with a pretty comforter and sheets. You see thick soft towels. This is all yours now. This is the first time you've had a room all to yourself. With a key to keep your things safe. The people who lead you to this room seem tough. They talk about rules. School. Schedules. Things you MUST DO. But they repeatedly ask you what you want for your child. What you want in life for yourself. They talk about dreams and goals. They tell you that they will help you get yourself there.
Yes, this is why Ruth House is such a special place. I support it with my time and money. The girls there, and their young families, need it. If you're looking for an inspiring place to get behind and support, please consider attending the Ruth House Experience for yourself!
Dinner's in the crockpot. A load of laundry is in the wash. Ok, NOW it is. I forgot to actually do it. But now we're back on track. We're waiting on an old co-worker to stop by; she's bringing back a bin of baby clothes and exchanging them for the next bin of larger clothes.
The girls and I were out and about this morning. We started the day with a trip to Ruth House. We were at the first Ruth House Experience, where we were given a taste of the lives of the girls who live there. The other visitors for the Experience were given dolls, car seats, and a small bag of baby essentials. I brought my own 2 kids and bags of essentials. They even cried and made noise at the appropriate times. The other women didn't have crying baby dolls. They could listen intently. They didn't need to produce toys, snacks, and other interventions to keep the general hubbub down. We were a mini object lesson to what the real residents of the homes dealt with when they first were oriented into the program. But only an analogy. Because I know a little bit about how to shush crying. I can predict when the girls will get tired, bored, and hungry. I have a little experience. I had people to teach me. I'm not 16 years old and homeless, with a newborn.
After our Ruth House Experience, we went to Target on our way home. We needed a white shirt for HeyMama. We found one. Then picked up a second shirt because it also would match the skirt we were trying to buy a top for, and it wasn't too expensive. I found a sun hat. We looked at sun hats for the girls that were on clearance. We ultimately didn't buy one, because we already had sun hats, and even as cheap backups, they weren't good enough. I was willing to spend more for a better hat. We got a gift for BestestHusband (shhh, don't tell!). We didn't look at toys, despite the girls' begging. I wanted to get us all home for lunch and rest time.
The shift from Ruth House to Target helps highlight the difference between my experience as a mother and the experience of a Ruth House mother. I have snacks in my diaper bag. I never have to worry about not being able to afford food for my girls. If we need more food, I go buy it. I can walk to the store. I can drive to the store. In my very own car. I don't have to worry about shopping only where the bus lines will take me. When we need more clothes, we go buy some. Sure, I love hand-me-downs, and try not to buy anything excessive. (Which can be hard, considering girls' clothes. Headbands were my downfall last week.) But it's out of a desire to use our money wisely. Not because we don't HAVE money. My girls were excited to help pick out a gift for BestestHusband. They know him. They know what he likes. My daughters have an involved father. He supports them. He supports me. He is there for us every morning and every night. I'm not parenting alone. I have the luxury of scheduling our days around they girls' needs. I can make sure they eat at regular intervals, and get plenty of sleep. The basic necessities of life are never in question. They are always provided.
Even under the best of circumstances, parenting is a challenge. Imagine having only the clothes on your back, with a few diapers and a blanket for your baby. You're almost out of formula. You're almost out of diapers. You have no clean clothes for your baby.
Imagine what it would be like to be shown to a room, with a pretty crib for your baby with sheets and a blanket. To see a nice bed, just for you, with a pretty comforter and sheets. You see thick soft towels. This is all yours now. This is the first time you've had a room all to yourself. With a key to keep your things safe. The people who lead you to this room seem tough. They talk about rules. School. Schedules. Things you MUST DO. But they repeatedly ask you what you want for your child. What you want in life for yourself. They talk about dreams and goals. They tell you that they will help you get yourself there.
Yes, this is why Ruth House is such a special place. I support it with my time and money. The girls there, and their young families, need it. If you're looking for an inspiring place to get behind and support, please consider attending the Ruth House Experience for yourself!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Encouragement
I'm grateful for all forms of encouragement. It really is the maple syrup on the pancakes of life. In theory, you CAN have too much, but I haven't seen anyone reach that point yet...
I am grateful for the strangers at J.Crew this morning. I was returning one of the desperate failures in my bathing suit search and a pair of horribly-vanity-sized khakis. The girls were with me. HeyMama was a trooper. She didn't want to stay one millisecond extra, but could suck it up in anticipation of Easter Dress shopping at our next stop. MeToo was having none of it. She was whining, standing up in her stroller, and generally just being a punk. So I took her out and sat her on the floor between my legs so I could control her and finish looking through the clearance rack. Of course she tantrummed, and made a heck of a din. I was annoyed, and felt bad for the other shoppers. But they were all moms. They understood. I was holding my ground. I was not passing up a good bargain for a whiny child. The staff all smiled, one told me a funny story of a similar experience she'd had when her girls were little. One shopper smiled as she passed and said, "Been there!" The cashier commented on my patience. I had nothing but encouragement. It was amazing. Their encouragement bolstered my patience and ability to wait out my screaming 2 yr old. (Hmm, does this mean that shopping will help me be a better mama?)
The other encouragement came in the form of a few stories through Facebook (thanks Julie Bourgoin!). I'm a huge fan of Lutheran Social Services, including Ruth House and the work done with refugees in New England. In the midst of all of our grousing about the economy and rising gas prices, these stories show that the American dream is still alive and kicking. And that there are plenty of people out there who are still willing to face every challenge with a smile and rise to the occasion.
Check out the stories here:
Nepalese refugee inducted into Honor Society
Nepalese family works for self-sufficiency
My day's problems feel absolutely manageable in comparison. Don't yours?
If you want to help support their American Dream and that of others to come, consider supporting Lutheran Social Services. We need more families like the Rais and the Darjees to succeed.
I am grateful for the strangers at J.Crew this morning. I was returning one of the desperate failures in my bathing suit search and a pair of horribly-vanity-sized khakis. The girls were with me. HeyMama was a trooper. She didn't want to stay one millisecond extra, but could suck it up in anticipation of Easter Dress shopping at our next stop. MeToo was having none of it. She was whining, standing up in her stroller, and generally just being a punk. So I took her out and sat her on the floor between my legs so I could control her and finish looking through the clearance rack. Of course she tantrummed, and made a heck of a din. I was annoyed, and felt bad for the other shoppers. But they were all moms. They understood. I was holding my ground. I was not passing up a good bargain for a whiny child. The staff all smiled, one told me a funny story of a similar experience she'd had when her girls were little. One shopper smiled as she passed and said, "Been there!" The cashier commented on my patience. I had nothing but encouragement. It was amazing. Their encouragement bolstered my patience and ability to wait out my screaming 2 yr old. (Hmm, does this mean that shopping will help me be a better mama?)
The other encouragement came in the form of a few stories through Facebook (thanks Julie Bourgoin!). I'm a huge fan of Lutheran Social Services, including Ruth House and the work done with refugees in New England. In the midst of all of our grousing about the economy and rising gas prices, these stories show that the American dream is still alive and kicking. And that there are plenty of people out there who are still willing to face every challenge with a smile and rise to the occasion.
Check out the stories here:
Nepalese refugee inducted into Honor Society
Nepalese family works for self-sufficiency
My day's problems feel absolutely manageable in comparison. Don't yours?
If you want to help support their American Dream and that of others to come, consider supporting Lutheran Social Services. We need more families like the Rais and the Darjees to succeed.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Imagine for a moment...
Imagine for a moment that you are 16 again.
But instead of holding car keys, or a French Horn, or a tennis racket, or a football, you're holding a baby. YOUR baby. You made the decision to have and raise your baby, and you want to do what's best for her.
But there are a few complications. You're still in school. But maybe you can drop out and get a job... You don't really have any job skills. And not too many people seem to be hiring... Who would take care of the baby while at work? Hmm, you have no family to help out. Good riddance, you never got along well anyway... You don't know much about babies. Or parenting. You never really had much parenting to learn from in your own family...
Oh, and you have no where to live. You've been sleeping on friends' couches for the last few years. But none of them are much interested in having a crying baby around.
And you have no money. And you need to buy diapers. And food.
And you're still only 16. What do you do?
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a home for kids like you? Where they helped you finish school. And gain job skills. And learn how to take care of your baby. And manage money. And make solid plans for your future. And provide counseling and psychological support for all the baggage that got you to where you are in the first place. And help you find a new place to live when you're 21. And generally just help you learn about structure and consequences and making smart choices for your life.
Wouldn't that just be amazing?
If you live in Massachusetts, that's not just a fairy tale. It's called Ruth House. It's a real place.
And if you agree to submit to the program, you can learn all the skills and gain all the tools you need to be able to support your little family. On your own. Oh, it's not a quick and easy process. It takes time, and can be a struggle. But the staff knows this, and provides what you need to do it.
Ruth House is a service of Lutheran Social Services (LSS). You don't have to be Lutheran to get the services. Religion does not determine what help you get. It only serves as the basis for why LSS exists in the first place. Lutherans support the services. Non-Lutherans support the services. Non-Christians support the services. LSS just does great work. Lots of it. It played a huge role in my life 30+ years ago.
I saw that work first-hand again this morning. I was at Ruth House. I met an alumna. When she moved there with her daughter, she spoke no English. Years later, she is a poised, articulate woman who helps run multiple non-profit organizations in the area. She hopes to finish her undergraduate degree next year. Yes, I said RUN MULTIPLE NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS. In perfect English. Ok, mildly accented... She is the epitome of a success story. She's married. She owns a home. And credits Ruth House for helping her get there.
The place inspires me. Over the next several months, I hope to help you get to know Ruth House, too.
Want to show some real love on Valentine's Day? Give something more permanent than roses. Show the girls some love that doesn't come their way very often.
But instead of holding car keys, or a French Horn, or a tennis racket, or a football, you're holding a baby. YOUR baby. You made the decision to have and raise your baby, and you want to do what's best for her.
But there are a few complications. You're still in school. But maybe you can drop out and get a job... You don't really have any job skills. And not too many people seem to be hiring... Who would take care of the baby while at work? Hmm, you have no family to help out. Good riddance, you never got along well anyway... You don't know much about babies. Or parenting. You never really had much parenting to learn from in your own family...
Oh, and you have no where to live. You've been sleeping on friends' couches for the last few years. But none of them are much interested in having a crying baby around.
And you have no money. And you need to buy diapers. And food.
And you're still only 16. What do you do?
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a home for kids like you? Where they helped you finish school. And gain job skills. And learn how to take care of your baby. And manage money. And make solid plans for your future. And provide counseling and psychological support for all the baggage that got you to where you are in the first place. And help you find a new place to live when you're 21. And generally just help you learn about structure and consequences and making smart choices for your life.
Wouldn't that just be amazing?
If you live in Massachusetts, that's not just a fairy tale. It's called Ruth House. It's a real place.
And if you agree to submit to the program, you can learn all the skills and gain all the tools you need to be able to support your little family. On your own. Oh, it's not a quick and easy process. It takes time, and can be a struggle. But the staff knows this, and provides what you need to do it.
Ruth House is a service of Lutheran Social Services (LSS). You don't have to be Lutheran to get the services. Religion does not determine what help you get. It only serves as the basis for why LSS exists in the first place. Lutherans support the services. Non-Lutherans support the services. Non-Christians support the services. LSS just does great work. Lots of it. It played a huge role in my life 30+ years ago.
I saw that work first-hand again this morning. I was at Ruth House. I met an alumna. When she moved there with her daughter, she spoke no English. Years later, she is a poised, articulate woman who helps run multiple non-profit organizations in the area. She hopes to finish her undergraduate degree next year. Yes, I said RUN MULTIPLE NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS. In perfect English. Ok, mildly accented... She is the epitome of a success story. She's married. She owns a home. And credits Ruth House for helping her get there.
The place inspires me. Over the next several months, I hope to help you get to know Ruth House, too.
Want to show some real love on Valentine's Day? Give something more permanent than roses. Show the girls some love that doesn't come their way very often.
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