The Secret Society of Christmas Magic Keepers

Today I told Kid #2 that Santa wasn't real.

She took it reasonably well. And she's certainly old enough to know the truth. She's 10. She's a very thoughtful and introspective 10 year old. She questions things and thinks deeply about things.
She's started asking a lot of questions about Jesus, and specific questions in response to things she hears in the Bible. It leads to a lot of interesting and fun conversations. But last week the conversation taught me that she's evaluating the truth of Jesus and the truth of Santa as equally important truths. 

Uh-oh.

So time to fess up.
I took her to Starbucks for a hot chocolate date. We found a table in the back, with one person working on a laptop nearby. But quiet, away from the hubbub.

"You're getting older, and you're becoming a very thoughtful person. I want you to always know you can ask us questions, and I want you to trust that we're going to tell you the truth. So I have to tell you the truth about something."

I told her that her dad and I were the magical gift givers known as Santa. 
"YOU gave us the boxes of sugary cereal and said we didn't have to share them?!?!"
"Yeah, wasn't that fun? I figured you wouldn't suspect me, because I'd make you share."

She thought through some of her other Santa presents and asked how we did it. I shared my secrets.
I told her that we kept up the Santa act because it was magical and fun. And we all need a little magic in our lives.
"Now that you know the truth, you are part of the Secret Society of Christmas Magic Keepers." (Please don't ruin this for your younger sisters! Or other kids on the bus!) 

We talked about how grownups are responsible for creating magic, and helping other grownups, too. Like the family we sponsored with gifts through a food pantry. The parent didn't have the money to be Santa, so we donated to help her create the Santa magic for her kids.

She expressed some sadness about the magic of Santa not being real. We talked about thinking instead about how great it is that grownups all over the world worked together to keep the magic going. She said she wanted to be a part of it.

Then she started thinking again. 
"What about that old guy who gave money so that the poor girl could get married?" 
"Saint Nicholas? He's absolutely real. He's a historical figure. But flying reindeer? That's made up." That made sense to her.

We talked about not blowing the Santa cover, and about dealing with punks on the bus who try to ruin Santa for younger kids. She has a plan for how she'll handle it. She's excited to keep it going for Kids 3 and 4.

But then I fessed up about the Tooth Fairy. And the Easter Bunny. And the Switch Witch.
That made her sad.

She's struggling right now with what she believes in. She said she's afraid that she'll stop believing in Jesus, too. I told her that I just turned her world upside down, and it's ok to feel unsure about everything. That she should keep asking questions whenever she had them.

The guy working on his laptop nearby? He was the store manager. When Kid #2 went to the bathroom, he leaned over and handed me two gift cards. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. It was really sweet. I have to admit that I teared up a little. Here, good luck!"

I thanked him and told him that I would be back tomorrow to use them. 
With Kid #1 who needed the same talk.