Domesticated Daddy

I knew BestestHusband was a catch when I first met him. He's spent the last nearly 10 years proving me right.

I worked a short day today, trying to maximize my childcare-free income opportunities while I still have the energy and time to do so. I got a few interesting iMessages today from home, including "Can you pick up some brown sugar?" and "Never mind, I found some."

I was curious as to why we suddenly needed more brown sugar.

I came home to find my answer. 

BestestHusband made rhubarb cake with the fresh rhubarb from our garden. 

Yum.

Oh yeah, he's a catch.

Rhubarb cake, a la mode.

Daily Gratitude

Many life coaches recommend that people start gratitude journals, a place to list things that they're thankful for. Increased gratitude has been linked to increased happiness and success.

Christians have known this for a long time. Our girls already are in the habit of finding things to give thanks for in their nightly prayers. I don't need to keep a gratitude journal, but I will share my latest source of gratitude...


I'm thankful for mousetraps.

I'm even more thankful for a husband who will empty them.



Hope your day is full of things to be thankful for!

Happy Birthday to You

I think the girls were way more excited about BestestHusband's birthday than he was.


When I asked him what he wanted to do today, he said "Mow the grass." He was serious. He changed his mind when he saw the thermometer. We talked about a trip to the lake to go swimming. That was the plan. But by the time the errands were run and the girls woke from a marathon nap, HeyMama didn't want to leave the house. So we spent the day cooking.


BestestHusband fire-roasted jalapeños from the garden to make hotsauce. It's still simmering right now. We made a Mexican feast. Pounded pork in sour orange marinade. Jicama salad with ancho chili powder. Rick Bayless' cookbook came alive in our kitchen. Over the course of hours, in a never ending parade of dirty dishes...


The girls were most excited about the cake. BestestHusband requested lemon cake with lavender frosting. I made lavender cream to go with it. Heavenly.


Birthdays change when you're older. We're still playing catchup from vacation. The garden bounty needs managing. The ToDo list doesn't get shorter just because it's your birthday.


The girls are in bed. The birthday scotch was tasted. The dishes still taunt, but the Olympics are on. The day has passed unremarkably, like most do. But it's worth pausing to note that 30+ years ago today, a very special person was born. And I'm the lucky gal who got to marry him.


Happy birthday to you, my love, happy birthday.

The result of hours of chopping, searing, marinating, etc.

Lemon cake with glaze. Yum.

Bragging Rights

I'd like to brag about my husband for a bit. He's on a plane to Germany, so he probably won't read this for at least a day or so. After picking up some more interesting gummy candies in Heidelberg, he'll check in to see how things are going at home, and he'll probably get a bit embarrassed. 


Sorry honey.


But I have a really great husband. 


Today was one of those days that just epitomized some of the great things about BestestHusband.
He got up before the rest of us to walk the dogs.
He put away dishes, helped get breakfast for the girls, and helped us all get out the door for swim lessons.
He was, as usual, an enthusiastic and encouraging component of swim lessons.
He ironed the laundry.
He carried a mini trampoline around the corner to a birthday party*.
He hung out with a bunch of 3 and 4 year old girls and their moms for a few hours.
He held someone else's baby for part of that time.
He read nap time stories.
He then went outside and moved dirt and rocks to make more improvements to the garden and yard while the rest of us napped. 
He did bath time for the girls.
He watched YouTube videos of Kriss Kross' "Jump Jump" with the girls.
He let the girls "help" him pack his suitcase.
And all along, he was funny, affectionate, and wonderful to all 3 of his girls (yes, including me). 


Thanks to a recent column in The Atlantic titled "Why Women Still Can't Have It All", the topic of work and family has come to the forefront again in the blogosphere and in my online mommy network. I'm happy to hear some people discussing the concept of FATHERS that are also making career sacrifices in order to have a happier home life. Because BestestHusband did this years ago, and continues to do it today. After college, he was recruited to join a firm doing very lucrative investment banking work. Very. Lucrative. But he looked around at the employees and saw that they had miserable marriages and family lives and said, "No thanks." He knew even then that he wanted a family someday, and would have to make sacrifices to have a happy home life. And the company that he's with now, the one with an extremely family-friendly culture and hosts summer outings to places that have bouncy houses and entertainers for the children, pays a lot less than other companies. Companies that don't provide paid paternity leave and an understanding and flexible schedule for parents who need it.


Of course I did that too. I purposely chose a career that was family friendly. And less lucrative than others that would make being a mother more difficult. That's what the so-called "Mommy Wars" want to discuss -  my sacrifices, and my forsaking of a graduate degree that I must do to care for our young children. But let's not forget all of the wonderful husbands out there who attempt superhuman balancing acts and make sacrifices for their families. Their efforts demand our recognition, too.


So here are some updated photos of the garden that BestestHusband has sacrificed his weekends to create:

BH moved a LOT of dirt and rocks to make this garden.

He had to remove a large shrub and move another cubic yard of dirt to add this extension to the garden. (Anne, these are your seedlings in this corner!)

Didn't he plant some gorgeous lettuce?

The tomatoes look lovely, too.

The spinach is spectacular.

Lots of spinach. Yum!

He planted TWO kinds of mint!

Zucchini blossoms!

He moved a lot of boulders to build this retaining wall.

Side view of the garden, including small boulders.

BH did pretty well in creating a garden out of an infertile slope.

Thankfully, the plants are helping to hide the boulder - the one that got away...

All in all, if he likes to move heavy things to get some exercise, I'm happy with the results. But it's yet another way that he invests his time and energy into taking care of the family. He could spend his weekend mornings on a single scull on the Charles River instead of letting his daughters "help" him in the garden. But he doesn't. He gives his time to us.


Anyone at The Atlantic want to write about that?






*A, hope you don't mind that we shared the trampoline...

Stewardship Sunday: Vocal Rest Edition

Happy Sunday!
It was nice to have a weekend at home, not working. It feels like it's been a while...
It was a rainy dreary weekend, and it helped me feel better about not getting out and DOING stuff. Of course, we did actually get out and DO a lot of stuff. But I didn't feel the constant urge to take advantage of the sunshine and comfortable temps we've had lately. I love the calm quiet feeling in the air on drizzly days. And a few times this weekend, I was actually able to pause and enjoy it!

So this week involved working a holiday, having a workday afternoon off, two mornings in the swimming pool with the girls, a massage, a PT appointment (the massage was NOT just for relaxation!), playmates, errands, a trip to the library, preparations for Vacation Bible School, and research on which voracious insects would be best for our garden pests. We came home from Allandale Farms today with a container of Praying Mantis egg sacks. All of the literature on them says they make great pets. I'm content to just let them run wild in our yard. I have no need to domesticate insects in this household...

Anyway, back to the "Vocal Rest Edition" part of the title. I helped lead the music for Vacation Bible School this morning. Across 4 groups of kids, my voice was going strong for 2+ hours. I am not a singer. I do not have a professionally trained voice. I just have a lifetime repertoire of Sunday School songs and the guts to belt out songs in front of saucer-eyed kids all morning long. In other words, I don't know how to use my voice well in endurance situations. But as an SLP, I do know that this is an abnormally significant workout of my vocal cords, one that could lead to phonotrauma if not managed appropriately. So I'm trying to drink a lot. Let me rephrase that. I'm trying to drink a lot of water and herbal tea. The other kind of drinking would be more fun, but would not improve the health of my larynx. Now, if I were my own SLP, I would prescribe myself a bit of vocal rest. My advice would be to try not to talk so much, keep my volume down, and nod and gesture whenever possible. My advice would be ludicrous considering that I have 2 preschoolers...

Anyway, I want to go to bed before midnight, so let's get this stewardship accounting done!

Money:  OUCH. We went to the craft store. I got a massage. And sand toys for the girls. And 2 dresses at the consignment store. (They were a steal! And I need new summer dresses. But still, ouch.)

Exercise:  This week wasn't so great. I think I got in one good workout all week. Sigh.

M&Ms:  Not the worst week for Peanut M&Ms, but less exercise = more self-medicating with chocolate. I finished off a jar of Trader Joe's Cocoa Almond spread. Really dangerous stuff!!! But oh, so good!!!

Patience:  Middle-of the road this week. Again, by the grace of God, I have moments of patience that are beyond what comes from me. I'm thankful that I have awareness in these moments. It makes me feel better to know that God really is there in the mundane moments of life. Especially the ones that I suck at handling on my own...

Time:  Since thinking about it weeks ago, I really think I"m doing better at not frittering away so much time on the computer. That's perhaps helped by the fact that we don't spend so much time at home now that the weather's better.

Food waste:  I threw out half a bunch of basil, and have half a head of lettuce waiting for me in the fridge. I really am bad about letting greens die. I'm like a leafy-green executioner. I'm happy that we have lettuce in the garden that I can pick a little at a time. Because buying it to use for the week just leads to a lot of food waste. Thanks again to BestestHusband for helping to eat some of the more questionable items in the fridge. He is my household savior for food waste.

HeyMama saw these made on a video, and told me what we needed to buy at the craft store.

She did it ALL BY HERSELF! Just from watching it done once. I mean, it's a simple craft, but she's 3! And all I had to do was fetch the googley eyes from the closet and unclog the glue!

Hope you have a great week!

Crylaughing

Thanks to Janice, I had myself a fantastic crylaugh tonight. I chuckled. I laughed. I laughed harder. The tears started flowing. I started gasping for air and making squeaky noises. Then I woke up MeToo. 


This is the reason.


Thanks to Mr. Fariss, we played Carmina Burana in my high school band. While the instrumentation is a lot of fun, I think the song is more commonly known for its vocals. In Latin.


I read the lyrics back in the day, but not knowing much Latin, I wasn't so interested. I think the "MIS-hearing" has GOT to be better than the real thing. I'm still trying to catch my breath. And I can't watch it again until the girls are awake.


I'm again thankful for the early exposure to powerful and noteworthy music that Mr. Fariss gave us. I'm also extremely thankful for Janice sharing a hysterical and noteworthy riff on an otherwise overused-in-Hollywood-heroic-scenes orchestral and choral work.


Now it's time to wipe my tears, go downstairs to bed, and try not to wake up BestestHusband every time I think of the animation of the "windmill cookies."

Monday Catchup and Gail Halvorsen

Happy Memorial Day to all!  A huge "Thank You" to everyone who has served in our military. 

I'm extremely thankful that there are people in our country who willingly put themselves in harm's way every day so that I don't have to think about how dangerous the world is. I do sleep better at night knowing that there are people who have the skill and bravery to do the dirty work that allows us to all sleep peacefully at night. And I'm extremely thankful that there are families who put on brave faces, and spouses that struggle to do the job of two people so that their household can function while their soldier spouse is deployed far away. 

Whether or not you approve of the reasons that the military gets deployed, you must acknowledge the people who don't get to have a say in these decisions, but feel strongly enough about serving their country that they go along anyway. And they do a really good job of it. They've recently proven that the bad guys aren't as good at finding hiding places as we are. And they bring along candy for children who have never tasted any. And share their rations with people who don't have food. And provide medical care to the sick and injured who aren't even involved in the fighting. 

I know that there are countless stories of U.S. service members doing small things to help the residents of the countries they fought in. I think my favorite so far is that of Gail Halvorsen. PBS introduced me to him a while back, talking about the Berlin Airlift after WWII. Today made me think of him again. American pilots flew life-saving necessities into Western Berlin. They provided a constant stream of food, medicine, and supplies for the beleaguered Germans who lived there, with planes landing every 3 minutes. Gail noticed the children who watched his plane land 3 times a day. He gave them chewing gum one day, and realized that they weren't just bringing these children food, but hope. So he bought up candy at the commissary, fashioned tiny parachutes out of handkerchiefs, and dropped the candy from his plane on his approach to the landing field. 

Gail attaching parachutes to candy. (Thanks for the photo, Wikipedia!)

Of course it was a hit. He became known as the Berlin Candy Bomber. Children across the U.S. raised money and American candy makers donated candy to the cause. Other pilots joined in. One man's sympathy and compassion for a few children grew into a joy-bringing institution. 

@ss-kicking and candy bombing. What a combo within a military force! 

So that's all I've got for today. I'm too behind to even try to do a belated Stewardship Sunday. Thanks to a holiday weekend, I significantly increased my work hours, which always screws me up. BestestHusband was home today with the girls and attacked the Clean Laundry Beast that was lurking on the spare bedroom bed while I enjoyed a "quiet" day at work. That's why I even have time to tell you that I can't catch up with blog posts. Yeah, I know it's been a while. But I promise a new boulder update soon. There is a new boulder. And a new update.

PS. Thanks Anne and Chris for the delightful dinner gathering that made me eat and drink too much. That's probably the biggest reason I couldn't write a Stewardship Sunday post. And the homemade brats were insanely good...

Boulder Update

BestestHusband found a new favorite boulder tonight. He was very happy. Then I called everyone in for dinner. The boulder is still at the bottom of the hill. For now.


I see a boulder rematch in our near future...

Feats of Strength

I spent a gorgeous Saturday at work, trying to communicate with demented little old ladies who don't speak English and getting covered in tube feed solution by a little old man who did speak English, but disconnected his feeding tube and plugged it into his bed alarm. The pump didn't know that the tube was now feeding liquid nutrition to an electronic device. Good times. My darling BestestHusband was at home with the girls, and arranged a play date with our friend Chris and his daughter, who is HeyMama's bestie and MeToo's rock star idol. The girls of course were overjoyed to play together. RockStar and my girls played in the yard while BestestHusband and Chris had plans for a day filled with Feats of Strength.


My darling BestestHusband is a huge fan of Seinfeld. He's also a weekend warrior extraordinaire. He sits at a desk being brilliant all week, and has the need to exercise a bit of his brawn on the weekends. When I first met him, I couldn't help but notice his height and broad shoulders. Those were the days when we could row and exercise on a regular basis. (Don't ask him about the Head of the Charles and his herniated disk. Still painful. The memory. Not the back...) Now, he walks dogs and bikes to work to get a bit of exercise. Not quite the same. So I'm convinced that he has a primal urge to do Feats of Strength, like leveling the back yard by hand. And pushing boulders up a hill. Poor Chris just got recruited to help with both jobs...


BestestHusband has been putting in a new garden for a few weeks now. The missing piece was the cornerstone of the rock retaining wall, a giant boulder he had dug up while leveling the yard that he decided would be the ultimate stabilizing force of the entire garden. If he could just get it up the hill... He's been working on that little element for several days now. He estimates that it's in the 300-400 lb range. He  attempts to roll it up the hill, and stops when he gets to the point of muscle fatigue. Then he comes inside, and tries again another day. He was making gradual process. He got the brilliant idea to use a moving dolly. Our friends around the corner just happened to have one. I suspected it was not the best tool for the job. I figured a team of draft horses was more up to the task...

But BestestHusband has his plans. And a need to do back-breaking manual labor. And I happen to like his broad shoulders, and figure that back-breaking manual labor probably plays a role in their maintenance. So after stating my opinion, I shut up and made plans to spend a gorgeous day indoors. I didn't plan on getting covered in yuck. Rookie mistake...

Moving the boulder proved to be a sisyphean task. Literally. Instead of getting the boulder up the hill, it just rolled further and further down the hill. 2 strong men. 1 strong moving dolly. 1 nasty boulder. The boulder won.

Anyway, I came home to a newly-renovated garden. BestestHusband resigned himself to using smaller boulders, and moved a few large shrubs to further demonstrate his strength. I can't complain about the results. The garden is quite stunning, considering that it had previously been a series of unhelpful slopes. We now have a level and fertile span of yard neatly delineated by rocks that BestestHusband dug out from under our failing grass. It will look even better when our plants have matured and have food on them. 

Our new garden.

Some of the smaller boulders BestestHusband dug up.

The compromise boulders that made up the final corner.

The rock wall from the side.

The boulder and the dolly.

Closeup of the boulder.

The boulder and dolly are significantly downhill from the intended wall corner.

Darker spots on ground indicate higher points that the boulder once rested. Oh well. 

So I'm off to apply a tube of muscle rub to my BestestHusband, Sisyphus. If anyone else is interested in a day involving Feats of Strength, let me know. I'm sure we have some more projects on the ToDo list.