Monday, July 9, 2012


I've felt extremely frazzled today. The Pama wasn't enough. 

The day was good. We went to the gym early, we led music time at preschool. We went home for an afternoon that didn't involve running around, per HeyMama's request. We did fun stuff out on the back patio. We opened the sandbox. We filled the water table. I harvested our first batch of lavender. It was a good day. It was full of cranky preschooler behavior. But most days are. Why am I so frazzled?

Well, the ajillion +1 phone calls about replacing a hot water heater might have contributed to it a bit... But I don't think that's the real cause.

I think it's because I'm an introvert.

Now some of you might argue with that statement. I seem perfectly sociable and outgoing. And you'd be right in that I DO enjoy some doses of social behavior, and I'm not afraid to talk to total strangers. That just means I'm not shy, and I'm the crazy talk-to-people-in-the-grocery-line type. But I've always heard that the test of introvert/extrovert has more to do with what ENERGIZES you - socialization or alone time.

And I need alone time. Quiet alone time other than the hours that I'm sleeping. (I don't typically sleep alone. And my sleeping partner is not consistently quiet...). My girls do not believe in quiet time. Nor do they believe in giving me alone time. Oh, sure, I can baby gate them into their room and put in ear plugs. But I save that for emergencies. Our house is about nonstop talking and nonstop needing. That's just where we are right now.

I'm always working to teach the girls more independence. And it is working. But that still takes time, talking, and togetherness. And these have devoured the remnants of my neurological system by the end of the day.

I feel better about my limitations since thinking of it this way. How can some moms seem to thrive amidst the chaos while I continue to struggle? Maybe it's because they're on Xanax. Or maybe it's because they're wired that way. I'm just not. And there's nothing I can do about it. Oh, I can pretend to be a social butterfly, but I'll still need to re-charge like a hermit. God made me this way, and I don't believe He makes mistakes...

So now I'll have to work on using this self-realization to find more balance. Because no one has fun when I'm frazzled.


  1. Amen, Sister Introvert! You have put words to my feelings. My hubby is a "go-go-go and who should we invite along" guy, so we pretty regularly disagree about the best way to spend a weekend. And kids take priority, so that's not a point in my favor generally either. When you find your favorite coping mechanism, please share. (And alcohol is off-limits for me for at least another 3 months, so while that may be a favorite...) Self-awareness is a step in the right direction, so I'll have to practice that one a little bit more. Thanks for the post!

  2. Take some time to yourself and read the book Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stopt talking. I just finished it and it was eye-opening! I once was an "E" on the Myers-Briggs, but after reading that book I definitely think I'm truly an "I" or at least an "A" (that's for Ambivert, someone who can do well in either world.)

  3. Everyone needs some alone time, I think. Some people may not need much, and may not realize how much they need it because they get enough without realizing it. But mommies don't always get any alone time at all (I don't even bother shutting the bathroom door unless my husband's home - the second they hear that 'click' they want to know what's going on in there).
    We sometimes don't even get any time when no one's touching us - climbing on us, poking us, clinging to our ankles, whispering loudly in our ears, demanding to be held/nursed, etc. That can really get to me some days (especially sweaty summer days). I can handle it for 95% of my day, but I need at least a little time to myself or I go crazy!
    My hold on sanity is preserved by the fact that my husband handles bedtime, and then takes our newborn for a walk in the stroller. Without that brief respite I'd be totally frazzled.

  4. I think part of it has to do with our professions--constantly meeting new people sometimes fries my brain, between getting a clinical picture of them (physical, social, psychological, etc) while establishing a rapport is exhausting. Ever stopped to think how many people you've met in your (relatively young) career? Yikes. So yeah, I do like my quiet time. Very much.