Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Dum-Dums. And My Failure As A Mother.

Once upon a time, I thought that giving candy to your children was evil. Resorting to lollipops to get stuff done meant that I was a failure as a mother. Children did not need that sugar, and certainly I could have a better management system than bribery.

Please forgive me. I was so naive, and so so wrong.

I've since discovered that candy and treats can be an important part of a healthy balanced discipline system. Dum Dum Pops are my favorite go-to bribery treat. While the bakery cookies at the grocery store are handy while shopping, Dum Dums are shelf stable and easy to carry in a purse or diaper bag. They are small in dosage, have a nice handle for making fingers less-sticky, and come in a variety of flavors to keep the interest over time. In other words, they are a godsend.

They were also part of my plan for handling our trip to the doctor's office today. HeyMama was scheduled for her 4 year well-child visit, and we knew some vaccinations would go along with it. So I packed 3, just to be excessive. Or so I thought...

Well, they offered the flu vaccine, which I said yes to. Then they offered it for MeToo as a tag-along consolation prize. I said yes to that, as well. Then they mentioned that they needed blood drawn from HeyMama to check for anemia. Ok. I have 3 Dum Dums, and 3 courses of needles. I'm still golden. Or so I thought...

So the shots went as well as was expected. The nurses showered the girls in stickers, and I whipped out the Dum Dums to distract from the pain. It all worked. Until MeToo saw HeyMama with a second lollipop, and wanted one of her own. Crap. I did count the rounds of needles, but I did not account for the "meee toooooo!" factor. I failed as a mother. 

So I led a wailing 2 year old around the health center while we did a potty trip. It was pitiful to hear. "I wanna wawipop! I waaaanna waaaaawipop! I waaaaaannaaaaa waaaaawiiiiiiipooooooop!" The sound echoed down all of the halls.

We ran into the nurse practitioner who had monitored both girls en utero. After exclaiming how long it had been since she saw the girls, she asked about the wailing. I told the story. She ducked into an office, and came out with a candy jar. The candy jar had a Tootsie Roll Pop. The wailing stopped immediately. "It's a big one!" MeToo chirped brightly.Yes, it was much larger than HeyMama's Dum Dum. And the crisis was over. 

So once again, I have learned about the importance of carrying an excessive amount of lollipops. I hope I don't forget that again. At least not before MeToo has her 3 year checkup next month...


  1. In June of 2003 I boarded a very hot train in eastern Germany with a very hot five-year-old and a very hot one-year-old. I had no water bottles, nothing. It got hotter. My children got sadder and sadder. Home was still two hours away. It got hotter. Finally, a very disgruntled Polish mother of two cast me a look of utter contempt and gave my children each a lollipop. Thank God for the mercy of that Polish housewife and for lollipops! --From Polly

    1. Ha! Angels can come in the strangest disguises!

    2. Ha! Angels can come in the strangest disguises!