Not a Good Playmate

I currently work per diem for a rehab hospital that primarily treats adults, but does have one pediatric floor. So once in a blue moon, I get floated down to work with pedi patients.

The staffing coordinator/scheduler commented one day that pedi specifically requested a therapist that "knows how to play". She responded, "Joy knows how to play, she's got 2 kids!". When I worked on the floor that day, I realized that I felt a bit out of my element. My job was to play? And not multitask keeping the child entertained and happy while I managed other elements of the household?" I found it challenging.

There's a push from some parenting "experts"to play through everything. Playful Parenting encourages parents to approach all behavior and discipline issues through play. Play through all of your daily routines. Play through any conflict that comes along. You don't need discipline when you have play.

I have a really hard time with this. Play is important for children. Play is how they learn many things. But play is not everything. Play is most effective when it's not structured by adults. And discipline is different from play. It is necessary to help kids learn limits. I will not joke with my girls when they disobey me.

Am I really a bad mom because I don't play all the time? Certainly there's plenty I can offer without being their constant playmates. For Pete's sake, I had them so close together so they'd always have a friend to turn to. I do things they can't do for each other. I teach. I comfort. I help. I hug, tickle, hold, rock, boost, and carry. I cook, clean, clothe, and provide the elements they need in their days for action and inaction. And yes, sometimes, I do play.

At the end of the day, I don't want to be their best playmate. I want to be the foundation they build on, the walls that keep them safe, and the pillow they can fall back on. Sometimes that requires not being their best friend, and sometimes that takes too much work to have a lot of free time (and energy) to play.

So I will continue with my current approach to parenting. I will not play or trick my kids into cooperation. As my girls can recite, "I use my words to teach you and keep you safe." That is my job. I pay their preschool teachers to play with them all day. They do a better job of it, anyway.

Pleasant Surprises

Today started out on the wrong foot. My 25 lb throat warmer made a visit in the night. When she wasn't busy trying to warm my throat and face, she was twirling my hair and generally just poking me enough to keep me from sleeping well. So I did NOT greet the gray foggy morning with a smile. Of course, I don't usually greet mornings with a smile in general, but this morning got a distinctive frown and grumble. 


But I was determined. We WOULD get out of the house and enter HeyMama into the BPS Lottery. (Bigmoneybigmoneybigmoney NO WHAMMIES!) No time for the gym or general hygiene. This was a morning for throwing on some clothes and getting out the door!


So we did. BestestHusband missed his bus, so we all bundled into rain gear and headed to the car. BestestHusband got a ride to the train station to get to work on time, and then we dashed to daycare to get a copy of HeyMama's immunization report. They had told me that they could take her at daycare today. After Tuesday's plumbing crisis, they offered to let her fill an open slot that they had today. 


This is where the pleasant surprises come in: 

• They had an open slot for MeToo, as well. 
• Both girls wanted to stay and play with friends.
• I was able to go to the school registration center without any kids in tow.
• There was no line when I got there.
• The guy was very friendly and helpful.
• The round-trip time from leaving daycare to leaving the registration center was 30 minutes. Total.
• I have the rest of the morning to myself WITH NO KIDS!!!
• The heavy rain didn't start 'til I got home.

Wah-hooooooo!!!


What to do with all of this time to myself? Probably laundry. (Sad, huh Shannon?)
And I will hang those pictures that have been sitting in a box on the bedroom floor for the last year. (No, really. I WILL! I'll even post pictures when I'm done!)


But I did learn a few things while talking to the nice BPS guy. I apparently picked the perfect time to come to the office to avoid a wait:

• I avoided the first and last week
• I came during bad weather

But according to him, "There could be a blizzard the first week and there'd still be a line out the door."
It doesn't matter when you come during the open registration window; it doesn't improve your chances of getting a better placement number. It does affect how much time you spend waiting to register. So applying on a whim apparently turned out to be a good plan. That's another pleasant surprise! And unfortunately a reinforcing consequence to my procrastination...


Happy Friday! Hope your day is full of pleasant surprises!